Serendipity - Poetry, Articles and Life Stories

Teri berukhi ko mohabbat ka naam dete dete,  Khud ko nakaamyaabi ka ilzaam dete dete, Thak gaye hain hum bhi, Aur toot gayi hai himmat bhi ab, Is ek - tarfa chingaari ko aag ki pehchaan dete dete... Medhavi 05.11.15

Poem for Sneha Chandra 💟 Thanks to Kaustubh Belur for the brilliant idea ! 😃 Ek pyaare dost ne kaha itna achcha likhti ho tum,  Toh kam se kam aaj ke liye kuch likhna toh banta hai... Toh Aaj socha ki yaadon ke bakse ke kuch kisson ko dhoop dikha dun,  apni behen ki shaadi par unki unke guzre bachpan se phir mulaaqaat Kara dun,  phir socha kahan se shuru karun,  kyunki yeh safar jitna unka hai, utna mera bhi hai, aur yaadon ke iss bakse ka ek hi pata hai - Hum... Ghar ke badde-buzurg bataate hain,  aur kuch tasveerein bhi gawaah hain,  ki hum pehli mulaaqaat se hi, Ek doosre ke khayaalon ko zubaan diya karte thhe... Sab jab ek saath baith kar antaakshari khelte thhe Hum Ghar ke kissi kone mein saath baith kar khwaab bunte thhe... Bachpan se le kar ab tak ka waqt itna khoobsurat aur yaadgaar raha hai,  ki samajh nahin aata kaun se kisse ki baat pehle karun.. Garmiyon ki chuttiyaan Aur mitti ke Ghar Nani se suni woh kahaaniyaan Aur Meerut wale Ghar ki ...

Guzre huye lamhon ki oas, Aaj aayeene par jami huyi dekhi,  Gire huye do chaar lafz,  Aur bhulaayi huyi yaadein,  Kuch puraani tasveerein,  Aur dohraayi huyi baatein,  Ehsaas ajnabee to ho Gaye,  Par paraaye nahin,  Mulaaqaat to kehne ko ho gayi,  Par woh laut ke aaye nahin. Intezaar nahin, ummeed nahin,  Na unse mohabbat Hai ab,  Khud se naraazgi hai, nafrat bhi,  Kyun na samajh sake hum tab,  Behte rahe Nadi ki tarah unke jahaan mein, Jo kehte woh maan lete thhe, Aankhein moond Kar hum.  Ab khuli Hain aankhein to tajjub karte Hain,  Is oas par unka naam likh Kar mitaate huye, Hum hum na rahe, waqt badal Gaya magar, Woh na badle, na badli fitrat unki,  Kitni milegi saza us ek faisle ki,  Ki kabhi in nigaahon ne unko chuna Tha, Duniya se jhagad Kar unhe apna banaya tha. Mohabbat jab apni hi nazar mein gunaah ban jaati Hai,  Ek pal mein hausalon ki tasveer toot jaati Hai,  Saans aati Hai magar, jeen...

He replaced her like she never existed.  She passed him like he was a stranger.  He knew all about her and so did she.  He couldn't face her, but she wanted to see. How is he able to bear all the pain. Doesn't he miss her and want her back again.  But she just wanted to see and not change her ways. She was ready to let go and cry for nights and days. He wasn't worth her. She was worth eternities. But yes she thinks of him, like her biggest mistake.  Medhavi

Sharaab se ab nasha nahin hota mujhko Tu tasavvur mein kuch is kadar rehta hai Ki kadam saath nahin dete kabhi kabhi Par tera khayaal har saans se yeh kehta hai Bhula do mujhe agar bhula sako Mitta do woh lamhe agar mitta sako Par hum rahenge yahin ghar basaa kar Khayaal khayaal par kabzaa kar Tadpaayenge bhi, sataayenge bhi Aur phir muskuraake naam tumhara pukaarenge Ki kya karein shikaayat unki khuda se Unki barbaad karne ki bhi adaa itni kaatilaana hai... Medhavi 18.10.15

Waffa ka yakeen thha, Waqt woh kitna haseen thha, Un aankhon mein sirf mera suroor thha, Tumko paa kar har zarra maghroor thha, Na jaane woh hawa ka jhonkaa kab aaya, Kahin kho gaya woh zariya ibaadat ka, Benaam ho gayi saari kasmein, Beghar ho gaye saikaron lamhe, Shamaa jalti rahi, waqt pighalta raha, Ummeedon ka daayara, ghat-ta gaya,  Ab bas kuch aadhi adhuri beeti baatein hain, Jo rooh ke darmiyaan kahin mehfooz hain, Aur aaj bhi har sheh par tera shukriya karne, Aur mohabbat tujhse karne mein, har zarra masroof hai... Medhavi 18.10.15

Woh raat... Aaj na jaane kyun phir teri yaad aa gayi, be-waqt, bin-baat ke, bas yun hi. Kamre ki dhundhli roshni mein, bistar par lete huye, kuch bhooli huyi raatein yaad aa gayi.  Kuch soch kar hassee aa gayi.. kuch soch kar rona aa gaya.. Yaad aayi woh raat jab phone par pehli baar ikraar hua tha.. woh raat jab main khushi se pehli baar royi thhi aur nam aankhon sang so gayi thhi.. woh raat jab hamari pehli ladaayi huyi thhi aur raat tumhe manaane mein guzar gayi thhi..  Woh raat jab hum kisi baat par itna hasse thhe ki ro padde thhe.. woh raat jab tumne pehli baar apni tasveer mujhe bheji thhi.. woh raat jab tumne kaha thha ki mere bina tum kuch bhi nahin aur maine saath nibhaane ka vaada kiya tha..  Phir woh raat yaad aayi jab yun hi phone par tumne bina kuch samjhaaye mujhe chorr diya thha.. woh raat jab sawaalon ki goonj mujhe paagal kar deti thhi.. woh raat jab khud ko shaant karne ke liye khud ko sazaa dene ki aadat lag gayi thhi.. woh raat jab phir nam aankhon sa...

काले  साये  ख्यालों  के  अक्सर  ढूंढ  लाते  हैं  सौ  बहाने  टूट  जाने  के , फिर  तुम  मुस्कुरा  देते  हो  और  मैं  हार  जाती  हूँ .. . . - मेधावी

Na jaane kitni daffa Ek hi khwaab humne dekha hai Phir ajnabee ho kar Tumse milenge toh kya hoga Medhavi 12.10.18👤 Her footwear were outside his room, She saw it and something broke inside, It wasn't her heart, it was a mirage, Filled with fake moments,  some kind of collage... She smiled and laughed at herself again, But that couldn't mattify her deep pain, The eyes screamed, the hands shivered, The dreams shattered, the lips got dried, There were no tears, there was no anger, But disappointment and more disappointment... Medhavi👤 Zindagi ke jis daur mein Tum humko peeche chorr gaye Uss modd par aaj bhi Beete kisson ki goonj baaki hai... Medhavi 12.10.15👤 Ek adhoori mulaaaqaat thhi,  Woh ek lambi si raat thhi, Shama pighal rahi thhi, Lamhon ki umra ghat rahi thhi... Kuch faasla aur thodi nazdeeki thhi, Saanson ki guftagu, thamaa hua waqt, Ankhahee si aarzoo, khwaahishein behadh... Yun hi aankhon aankhon mein, Seher zameen par utar gayi, Dabi dabi si aahatein, Lamhon par da...

Woh dekhti hi nahin aayeene ko gaur se aajkal, Main chhup chhup kar usko dekha karta hun, Meri nazar parchaayi si uske saath saath chalti hai, Uske kadmon ke saath meri raah nikalti hai... Uski khushbu uss se pehle mere zehen mein bhar jaati hai, Uski aawaaz uss ke dil se pehle mujh tak pahunch jaati hai... Itni nazdeeki toh Na thhi kabhi jab tere saath thha, Thode faasle thhe thodi doori ka ehsaas thha, Ab Na dekh Sakti hai tu mujhe,  Na mehsoos main hota hun, Par tere saath uthta baithta aur sota hun, Kehte hain log ki main iss duniya mein nahin raha ab, Unko kya khabar ki ab bhi main tujhmein jeeta hun... I miss you Abhi Medhavi

New victim. Same plan. New face. Same story. New conversations. Same charm. New name. Same commands. New voice. Same sound.  New love. And it all comes around.  I want to save her but would she believe ?  That he's not in love and she's just a need. New questions. Same answers.  New season. Same place.  New lies. Same abandonment.  New reason. Same betrayal. New smile. And there will soon be just tears. I want to tell her what I went through but would she even listen ?  That she will be the third victim and it will be a mistake that she will repent.  Or should I let it go?  Her life. His life.  Her decision. His choice. Her lips. His voice.  And Her destiny. His karma.  - Medhavi

Jab ek zarre ki maujoodgi bhi khayaalon ko khale, Har waqt khaalipan mein guzra waqt hi khanke, Jab hon bheed mein tanha sawaalon ki numaaish, Aur khushi bhi miley toh lage koi saazish... Jab mausam bhi naraazgi jataaye,  Hawaayein yeh hausalon ko udda le jaayein, Jab saamna ho khud se aur rang lage feeka, Aur saaya lage paraaya gairon ka aur khud hi ka... Jab raaton ke andhere bhi Karne lagein samjhaute, Aur chubhne lagein logon ke shabd aur chehre, Ab To lagta Hai jaise yeh 'jab' khatm hi nahin honge, Kisse is veeraane ke hum likhte hi rahenge...   Kya bahaar ki aakhiri ummeed bhi ab mitta dein, Ya khud ke hi aage ab hum sar jhuka dein, Ki haare hausalon sang kab tak badh sakenge, Yeh jhoothi muskuraahat kab Tak saath degi, Ya yeh andhere kabhi ujaalon mein badlenge, Is ummeed par bhi ummeed yeh kab Tak tikegi ?  Medhavi

कुछ ऊलझे हुए हैं धागे,  नफरत के , मोह के , तुमसे ,  गांठ हो तो खोल भी लें ,  ये तो ज़िन्दगी है जो गुज़रती नही ... . . मेधावी  21/08/18

Just a story ... We loved each other. We did. It was all beautiful and rosy in the beginning. Dates, long walks, conversations over coffee, long drives, late night phone calls, early morning excuses to leave home and what not. It felt as if we completed each other. Now after 7-8 years, when I look back and think about it, I still smile but there are things that I'm reminded about that I still haven't forgotten. He was the best thing that ever happened to me but at the same time, the worst too. It took years to understand that sometimes love can be manipulative, manipulative to the extent that it disables your basic sense, instincts and thought process as well. It's funny how he could manipulate me to cut off with all my friends gradually so as to assure that I had nobody to talk to or share with what I was going through.  In this society when you are ambitious, intelligent at the same time a woman as well, there are different kinds of struggles that you go through. My paren...

Dear JNU,  The Wall art, the posters and the Graffiti all around the campus always fascinated me. All the messages were loud and clear, and of course beautiful to the core. I often saw students painting these huge posters which were spread on the ground and next day saw them pasted on the walls. JNU walls were always magical. So many times I saw foreigners visiting our campus to click pictures of birds, animals, walls, roads and the campus in general and I felt so proud.  . . .  I remember when I joined JNU, I hardly could participate in conversations. I was from an Economics background, that too from Delhi University, where discussions were only about how to mass bunk or get our test postponed. JNU was a different world altogether. It took me a while to understand feminism, Marxism, hegemony, discourses, etc. In the real sense. It took me longer to understand what right, left and centre really meant in the field of academics.  . . . But as time passed I realized tha...

Dear JNU,  This is my Second Letter and trust me I have many more to write. So, continuing from where I left, I learnt a lot in my M.Phil time. Those days I didn't have a hostel so @amrigos being a sweetheart allowed me to stay in her room in Chandrabhaga Hostel, as she lived in Gurgaon.  . . . Before that I was living with @deepicaelizabeth and @mingma25  and oh my God, what mad times they were. I remember there was a pub in Ambience Mall, I'm sure all students of JNU from the 2013-15 know about - Strikers ! They had a "Ladies Night" every Thursday and me, Mingma and Deepica used to go there almost every other Thursday. It was great fun.  . . . Returning back from the mall, around 9-10 PM, crossing that highway before the foot - over bridge was built was no less than a task ! It was crazy and scary both at the same time. But as we entered JNU we felt so safe. JNU has always been our "Safe Space". The Mother Dairy Counter at the Mall Gate was always a Saviou...

Dear JNU,  I am writing this to you because I had made many plans to re-live each bit of you for the last time as this was supposed to be my final semester. But due to Covid 19, everything got postponed and now suddenly I got to know that I can submit my thesis online. There's no clarity about when the campus shall reopen and I guess, this is the end of my JNU journey. . . . This is my first letter to you and I am more than overwhelmed while writing this. I've known you since I was a child and didn't even dream of being a part of you because I always believed that you were too big a dream for me. When I got selected for M.Phil (Cinema Studies) in School of Arts and Aesthetics, I was really happy for two reasons - first being that I was a part of JNU and second being that I was finally doing what I always wanted. . . . The first semester was beautiful because I met some really amazing people @hrishikesharvikar @paramitapragya Geedha, Dipika, @amrigos Matru, @chowdhrytalha @t...

Yeh jo bhi ho raha hai,  Hamare aas paas,  Woh saamne bhi tha,  Par tumne dekha nahin, "Depression" hai hi aisa, Ki aasaani se dikhta nahin.  Meri hansi ke peeche, Chupi thi udaasi meri, Gum hoti thi pehchaan, Jaise har pal halki halki.  Subha bistar se nikalna,  Kisi khabar se khush hona,  Kisi se mil kar baat karna,  Apne mann ke rang ko utaarna,  Mujhe mushkil lagta tha.  Yeh mujhe samajh zara der se aaya, ki mujhmein kuch badal raha tha,  Mujhmein main nahin tha, aur khud ko dhoondhne ki himmat na thi,  Thhe bahut chaahne wale,  Par mere dil ka kamra khaali tha,  Chaar kadam par ek dost tha,  Par dooori meelon si lagti thi Chhillaana tha kayi baar,  Par chuppi maine saadi thi,  Waqt marham hai, suna tha,  Par har guzarta pal jaise meri barbaadi thi... Bas ek din zindagi se mann sa oob gaya,  Sagar jaise mere burre khayaalon mein doob gaya,  Maine khud ko haarte huye,  Apni nazar ...

Ek safar kaayam karna tha, Manzil ka kaafila ban gaya,  Mulaaqaat ek karni thi, Mohabbat ka silsila ban gaya... Ab choot-te nahin tum,  Aadat si ban gaye ho,  Dil se nikalte nahin tum,  Chahat meri ban gaye ho... Kitaabi baaton ko kuch kuch, Sach karne lagi hai yeh daastaan hamari,  Shayari likhte thhe pehle,  Ab bas likhte hain sirf kisse hamare

Aadhi zindagi,  Hazaaron filmein,  Aur laakhon dard lag gaye,  Yeh ek baat samajhne mein,  Ki yeh ishq mohabbat,  Sirf kitaabi baatein hoti hain.  Logon se hamesha se sunti thi, hansti thi un par,  Kyunki sochti thi,  Ki kitni kharaab taqdeer hai inki, ki inko ishq se inkaar hai, bataao in baaton ko kitaabi kehte hain, jin par likhi gayi hain anginat kahaaniyaan. Jab toot-ti hai himmat, Aur dil mehsoos karna chorr deta hai, tab kuch yakeen sa hota hai, ki yeh sab bas ek bhram, ek samjhauta hai. Jise log karte hain, apne apne waqt pe, apne apne matlab se, aur phir sab raaton raat badal jaata hai.  Medhavi

Phir se khud se yeh ikraar karna, ki is baar bhi mohabbat mein tumhari haar huyi, shaayad main karne se darti hun... Shayad main darti hun yeh maanne se, ki tum bhi chale gaye, ya shaayad maine jaane diya...  Shayad main darti hun, har roz subha uth kar khud ko dekhne se, kyunki har din ek hi khwaab toot-te huye baar baar dekhti hun,  Tumhe mujhko bhulaate huye, har roz dekhti hun... Shayad main darti hun, phir se nakaam hone se, phir tanha hone se, phir akele Rone se,  Phir toot ke bikharne se, aur phir se mohabbat karne se... Medhavi

Mujhe har din aisa lagta hai,  Jaise maano main tumhara peecha kar rahi hun,  Kabhi messages pe,  To kabhi call kar ke,  Kabhi posts pe tag kar ke,  To kabhi apni pics bhej ke,  Jaise main tumhara apni zindagi mein ab tak hone ka yakeen khud ko har din dilwaana chahti hun,  Jabki sach to yeh hai,  Ki tum mujhe chorr bahut pehle aage badh chuke,  Aur main wahin hun,  Jahan se waapas lautne ka koi raasta nahin,  Aur aage badhne ka mujhmein hausla nahin... 

✨ Kisi jagah ki nahin, kayi baar logon ko kisi waqt mein lautne ki chaah hoti hai. Woh waqt jab hum mein bharosa karne ki, dosti nibhaane ki, mohabbat karne ki himmat hoti thi.  . . Dil toot jaane ka darr nahin hota tha. Shaayad apne teenage years mein hum sabse paak hote hain, hum mein mohabbat karne ki koi kala nahin hoti, bharosa tootne ka darr nahin hota.  . . Himmat hoti hai aazaadi se cheezon ko mehsoos karne ki aur kayi baar khul ke bol dene ki. Us waqt shohrat, daulat, kaam, samaaj, kisi cheez ka hosh nahin hota. Bas bahut hi khoobsoorati se hum har rishta banaate hain aur nibhaate hain. Phir duniyaadaari ki samajh dheere dheere hoti hai.  . . Jab koi dost daga deta hai, tab pehli baar dil toot-ta hai, jab apni zindagi mein wo nahin kar paate jiski chaah thi, tab phir toot-ta hai. Phir pehla pyaar hota hai, jismein aadhe se Zyaada baari dil toot-ta hi hai. Pehli baar har baar jaisa lagta hai. Mohabbat karne ki, bharosa karne ki, himmat toot-ti hai par khud par bha...

Tum Sach thhe ya jhooth thhe, Yeh aksar khud se poochti hun main, Tasveerein haath mein hoti Hain lekin,  Phir bhi Shaq sa karti hun main, Jo itna gehra tha kabhi,  Itna khokhla kab ho gaya, Jo itna apna tha kabhi, Iss kadar ajnabee kab ho gaya... Yeh sawaal be-jawaab hain, Aur uljhanein ab bhi be-hisaab hain, Koi dil toddne ko dil lagaata kyun hai, Koi dur jaane ko paas aata kyun hai, Koi sehra mein barsaat sa hai kyun, Is toote rishte mein yeh gaanth hai kyun, Kyun khwaabon mein tum aate ho ab bhi, Sab chhal tha, phir kyun rulaate ho ab bhi... Tumhe lautna nahin yeh jaanti hun main, Phir kyun bahaane bana tumhare peeche bhaagti hun main, Aur har raat yahi sochti hun main,  Tum Sach thhe ya jhooth thhe,  Tasveerein haath mein hoti Hain, Phir bhi Shaq sa karti hun main... Medhavi 05.04.17

Ek sagar piroya tha khwaabon ko samet ke,  Bikhre thhe jo lafzon ke libaas mein tumhari us laal diary mein,  Yaad hai tum usmein aksar apne dil ki khaas baatein likha karte thhe ?  Ek waqt tha ki har panne par naam tha mera,  Aur kabhi kabhi mujhe yaad kar tumhari aankhon ki nami se kuch lafz bhi dhundhla jaate thhe.  Mulaaqaaton ka waqt seemit hota tha,  Aur sagar mein moti se tumhare ehsaas ghulte rehte thhe,  Kabhi socha nahin tha,  Ki wo khwaab khud hi todne padenge, tumhara Mudd ke na dekhna kabhi khwaab ke khwaab mein bhi na tha, par tumhara jaana, shaayad maaloom tha, Tabhi aaj tak tumhari wo baatein, kuch cheezein ab tak hain paas mere, jinse waqt ko kaid sa kar rakha hai maine bhi, tumhe nahin aana, ab tumhara intezaar bhi nahin, par wo sagar ab bhi apni maujon mein tumhara naam dohraata hai... - Medhavi

He left me so empty,  That no love could fill my heart,  No soul could hold my being,  And life could never be the same. 

Aaj unhe phir saath dekha... Aaj unhe phir saath dekha, Aisa laga jaise Dil ke kaanch par,  Guzre kal ki bhaanp si jam gayi, Aur nazar ke aage, andheron ka kohra, Jaise chatt hi na paaya... Mere rag rag mein sawaalon ki goonj thhi, Aur har khayaal ki saikaron uljhanein thhi, Par chehre par jhoothi muskuraahat bhi laani hi thhi, Apni tanhaayi ko bhi ek mehfil si dikhaani hi thhi... Woh saamne thha mere par, Haath uske haath mein kisi aur ka thha, Kis haq aur zubaan se kehti, Ki woh haath kisi gair ka thha... Main akele baith unke saamne, Bas muskuraati rahi, Baatein kar rahi thhi uski, aur apne dard ki,  Phir bhi bas hansti hansaati rahi... Zubaan ladkhadda rahi thhi, Aur har zarra cheekh raha thha, Phir bhi wahin baith main, Khud ka tamaasha bhi banaati rahi... Jab bhi nazar utha ke dekha, Nazar ussi se jaa mili,  Jab bhi nazar pherna chaaha, Ek ummeed si kyun jaag uthi, Phir raaton ko meri usne apne naam kiya, Aur phir dekh mujhe katl-e-aam kiya, Kyun aage badh thaama na...

Sookhe gulaabon ko kitaabon ke beech bikharte huye dekha hai, Humne mohabbat ko shabdon ki sangati mein dum todte huye dekha hai Rang udd jaate Hain,  Wajood mitti ho jaata hai,  Panno ke akshar bhi dhundhla jaate Hain Khushbuein Hawa ho jaati Hain Ehsaas ghul jaate Hain  Kitaabon mein aksar waqt ke saath do log juda ho jaate hain