save yourself first 🌸

I meet a lot of people who often ask or rather complain that their life's not getting any better. Honestly, I'm also one of them. But sometimes you need to hear it from someone else and so, here it is. 

When you go through a tough time and you feel that you've hit your rock bottom, you feel that nothing would make me feel better. Nothing would ever be the same. And I won't say that you're wrong. You're right. Every loss makes us lose a part of our heart. But the important thing is what you take back from it. After many such experiences, I have learnt the hard way that God will keep putting you through hard times until you learn the lesson that he's trying to teach you. Be it at your professional front, w.r.t dealing with certain situations, or personal front w.r.t trusting/judging people, giving chances or making choices. 

If you'd continue to handle the situations the same way you handled them the first time, don't expect different results. It's not logical and it's never gonna happen. People say that if you're careful while trusting again or taking time in a relationship, you are carrying baggage or you're comparing these new people with the bad people you've dealt with before. But the truth is that you're being careful and just trying to protect yourself from being hurt. So it's okay to put your boundaries and take time to process things. 

It's okay to tell them, be it your friends/partner/ colleague that you don't want things to be in a certain way because you've suffered from being in similar situations in your past. It's okay to define your deal breakers,turn offs and fears. If they care about you, love & value you, they'd understand & never do anything that reminds you of your past. And if they do unknowingly & you communicate that to them, they'd feel sorry and make sure that it never repeats. So, if you keep following your old ways to deal with situations, the results, the lessons, the hurt, the pain will repeat themselves. Don't let anyone hurt you again in the same way that you've been hurt before. You deserve love and happiness and if that's not what you're getting then leave that job, break up the relationship/friendship. Save yourself first.