Serendipity - Poetry, Articles and Life Stories

He used to tell me to send him a picture every night before I slept. I always wondered why? why he wanted to see me when my eyes were tired and my smile was lazy; my thoughts were still and my pulse was lower than usual. His little demands at times were strange but they said so much about him, about how he loved me, how he saw me, how he wanted to know each bit of me, how he wanted to travel through me, how he wanted to talk without talking, how he wanted to dive in the confused paths of my story. I always thought that he was crazy, crazy for me and in love. I used to wonder what would he do without me. I used to wonder how would that one night be for him when I won't send him a picture, how would he go to sleep. I never thought that I would ever be left alone by him so I never thought of the probabilities and consequences. But then one day he left ! I was unprepared. I was unaware. And it happened one night when I was blocked from his life and I was as helpless as it could be.

I was always cautious about falling in love but then I met you.. it was different because you were different... I remember how I lost my words when you looked into my eyes and how I looked in the mirror every morning those days and admired myself because last night you said I was beautiful... You changed my life and perception towards love, God and life. Thank you for coming into my life... . .

Unanswered questions, incomplete stories and unsaid goodbyes are the most painful ! .

Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back is an extreme mix of two feelings of helplessness and empowerment. Helplessness because you cannot force anyone to love you back and empowerment because nobody can control how you feel, nobody can stop you and nobody can blame you... But then those nights come when you're lying alone on your bed with countless thoughts.. and you think how incomplete yet complete your life is.. and finally you sleep with a heavy heart but one satisfying thought that maybe he too feels incomplete without me.. and these maybes then become an escape from your disturbing thoughts and then you finally sleep...

He said that I look the most beautiful when I am in my raw form.. when I don't do my hair and don't put that lipstick on my lips... He said that when I don't put my hair flicks behind my ears and they carelessly wander around the area between my ears and cheek, its like poetry flowing from the heart to the soul.. he said my eyes with that incomplete Kohl look the most beautiful because they are undone.. and my lips which are a little dry yet moisturized are a mirror of the unspoken stories behind my face. I look the best when I'm raw.. that's what he said... And I still look into the mirror and wonder if he still looks at me that way.. and then I wonder even more.. does he even remember me ? And then I laugh and ask myself.. does he even know that I exist ? . . . . #latenighthoughts .

खुद को खोने और पाने में तिल भर का फासला था, मेरे तेरे दरमियाँ एक काँच की दीवार सा फासला था, फिसल रहे थे लम्हे, गुज़र रही थी रैना,  बढ़ रही थी धड़कन, बिखर रहे थे अरमान, समेटे हुए ज़र्रे खुद ही के, वो मुझमें समा रहा था, मुद्दत से थमा हुआ वक़्त, उस पल गुज़र रहा था,  उसने छुआ था मुझको जब, हर ख़याल थरथराया था,  मेरी ज़ुबान पर आ कर भी, हर लफ्ज़ ठहेर गया था, हर एक ख्वाब जैसे आँखों के आगे चल रहा था, कुछ इस तरह उस रात का समा बदल रहा था, हुई जो सहेर तो वो ख्वाब बाहों में ही पाया,  उसकी उंगलियों से होकर रोशन हुआ ज़ुल्फोन का साया, जब आँखें बाँध की तो वो ख्वाब वैसा ही जमा था,  उस सुबह में जैसे हर ख्वाब का काफिला था.

Your essence is alive in my breath and I wonder how I'm still living.

फिर यह रात है,  अंधेरे उतने ही घने हैं,  खामोशी उतनी ही मौन है,  सन्नाटे उतने ही हैरान हैं,  बस ख़यालों के तेरे गूँज ख़त्म नहीं होती,  आदतें बदलती हैं पर ज़ख़्म नहीं भरते,  तमाशों से घिरी यह झूठी ज़िंदगी अब रास आने भी लगी है,  खुद की एहमियत अब हिम्मत भुलाने भी लगी है,  क्यूंकी पीछा तुझसे अब भी छूट-ता ही नहीं,  ख़याल तो कभी ख्वाब ऐसा जो टूट-ता भी नहीं,  की अब मायूस नहीं होते हौसले, मुस्कुरा देते हैं,  दर्द है इतना अब की और मौके आयें तो ठुकरा देते हैं,  पर यह रात फिर लौट आती है,  तेरी कही बातें फिर दोहराती है,  तेरा चेहरा फिर नज़र में भरता है,  दिल फिर तुझपर फिदा भी होता है,  रकम हम फिर मुस्कुरा कर चुकाते हैं,  इस कदर हम हर रात बिताते हैं. - Medhavi

New victim. Same plan. New face. Same story. New conversations. Same charm. New name. Same commands. New voice. Same sound. New love. And it all comes around. I want to save her but would she believe ? That he's not in love and she's just a need. New questions. Same answers. New season. Same place. New lies. Same abandonment. New reason. Same betrayal. New smile. And there will soon be just tears. I want to tell her what I went through but would she even listen ? That she will be the third victim and it will be a mistake that she will repent. Or should I let it go? Her life. His life. Her decision. His choice. Her lips. His voice. And Her destiny. His karma. - Medhavi

रात कट-ती नहीं और सुबह का इंतेज़ार नहीं, ऐसे गुज़र रही है ज़िंदगी जैसे आधा चाँद दबा हुआ है शभ के ढलते उजालों में. - Medhavi

जब निगाह में इंतज़ार हो, पर उम्मीद नहीं,  जब कहने को सब हासिल हो, पर ठीक नहीं, जब रातों में नींदें हो, पर करार नहीं,  जब रिश्ते में नाम हो, पर प्यार नहीं,  जब सन्नातों में खामोशी हो, पर शांति नहीं,  जब ख्वाबों में एक शक्स हो, पर मंज़िल नहीं,  जब उलफत में इबादत हो, पर हक़ीकत नहीं, जब हवा में खुश्बू हो, पर एहसास नहीं,  जब दोस्ती में साथ हो, पर विश्वास नहीं,  जब गुज़रे कल में दर्द हो, पर खट्टास नहीं,  और मोहब्बत की एक दास्तान हो, पर जज़्बात नहीं, तो सोचना यूँ ही, की सब हासिल कर भी, यह ख़ालीपन है क्यूँ,  है ज़िंदगी फिर भी, है अधमरा यह जिस्म क्यूँ, क्यूँ अब छूने पर किसी के, ज़हेन तक आवाज़ नहीं पहुँचती,  क्यूँ अब मोहब्बत से जुड़ी, कोई बात दिल से नहीं छिड़ती,  क्यूँ अब बस रह गया है बन के यह एक लफ्ज़, मेरी शायरी में,  क्यूँ अब गुफ्तगू खुद से करने से घबराता है दिल,  क्यूँ अब सिमट के रह गया है हर ज़ररा खुद ही में,  क्यूँ हर पल ख़यालों के सैलाब में समाती है हर मंज़िल, वो मेरी तक़दीर में नहीं, बस एक वक़्त से टूटा हुआ लम्हा है, मैं हूँ अगर अधूरी, तो कहीं वो

I was blind, that's what people say, I fail to make them understand that I was in love and you were my sight, how could I be blind ?

I remember how we shared one room... Though it was officially yours and I never shifted, but it was an unsaid commitment... And a decision that was never discussed.. Every morning I woke up beside you, the first breath was always filled with your smell, the first sight was always your face, the first touch was always of your hair or hand, the first sentence was always an 'I love you' or a 'good morning baby'. I went to my room just to get fresh and change clothes, rest we studied, ate, hanged out, rested, slept, and spent each moment together. There were times when we both felt that it was becoming a little too much but thought how to talk about it. When I gave you space, I never thought that it will go against me and by giving you space for a day or two or at times, a few hours, would take you away from me. I wanted to give you that space to understand yourself better, to give time to others, to make new friends and spend time with yourself. But you just needed that