Para R.I.P Abhi...*

And one day your best friend just leaves you alone in this world... With a million memories n a billion regrets. You don't know how to deal with it.. how to undo things.. how to apologise for a hundred things.. how to show all the love n care at once when the person is not there anymore. He taught me about life.. he taught me about second chances.. he taught me how to love.. he taught me how important patience was.. n now all of a sudden he's gone. . .

Reason ?  A sudden road accident.. drunken driving.. over speeding .. n taking life for granted !

We had to meet Abhi.. you're listening ? We had to meet this weekend... We had to eat Dal Delhicious at Kabab express. . Chicken lasagne at big chill n what not.. we had to do our movie marathon . . . You had to take me to Murthal... N gift me a Labrador at my wedding.. we had to do so much.. n you left me alone.

I don't know how to live this life anymore. I want to die n come to you. You taught me never to give up n you left me.. you gave up on me. I hate you n I love you so much. Is there anyway in which you can come back ? Is there anyway I can see you again full of life n nonsense... Hear your silly jokes n live with you just for one day.. can you come back just for one day n fix me up so that I can live this life.. coz I'm not able to survive this loss.

I will live your dreams n complete your responsibilities.. do everything.. I want to.. but for that I need strength n that was you.. n now you're gone n I don't know how to live. Please come back wherever you are. I don't know how to live anymore.

I saw you today for the last time... Wrapped in a white cloth.. very insensitively they held the cloth n cut it with big scissors, as if it's a courier... We were just allowed to see your face... And I could feel the pain with every inch your body was moving. I wanted to hold your hand n kiss your forehead n say a final 'goodbye' but something just broke me from within. Your eyes were open n still.. your face had a faint smile and your tongue was touching your upper jaw like you were about to say something... You were looking at me.. and I could feel that you were looking deep into my soul..

I had held your mother tight n your brothers arm initially coz I was thinking that I will take care of them but as I saw you... My heart sank n I needed somebody to hold me then n take care of them. I couldn't see you that way for more than ten seconds.. I couldn't dare to touch you coz you seemed to be the purest sight... I just could go out n stand in a corner.. hug my mom n cry. I went out of the place n tried to catch the longest breath possible... Coz I actually felt I'd die after seeing you like that.. and I know you'd hate that. You loved me too much to even bear the sight of me crying... n then I saw this quote written outside the Antim Niwas - "Shareer nashwar hai, mrityu ek satya hai"... I swear.. death is such a bitter truth.

After a while when your bag came n I opened it with your brother... I could just see it filled with all my presents.. tee shirts.. old bills.. mugs.. n even an expired metro card. And I felt such a pain in my heart coz I could never love n value you the way you did. I wanted to take something from the stuff as your last memory.. I just picked the first present I gave you... The tee shirt that said "Textually Active".. as we were chat friends then for months n months.. along with that I picked the expired metro card. Thank you for treasuring my things. I will treasure you forever.

After I saw your phone.. i couldn't guess the lock pattern... N then I just used mine.. n it opened... your Gallery was filled with our pictures n playlist of my fav songs.. what did I do to get so much loved by you ? I could never give you anything in return.. I wish I could... But now I do n would do all my life. I will take care of your family just like mine. Your brother is my mother n your Maa is my Maa now n Dad is my Dad now... They were earlier too... But now they are my responsibility.

Abhi I can't just forget your face.. the way your eyes were open n you were looking at me. I wish I could just pump in some life in you for a moment n just hear you one last time. Just cl me 'item' once again n scold me again one last time. I miss you so much. I dont know how to live without you. Please come back. The world needs you... N I know what's most Imp for you.. so listen to me.. I need you.

I miss you Abhi. Please come back.