Hope🌸

Just a story ...

We loved each other. We did. It was all beautiful and rosy in the beginning. Dates, long walks, conversations over coffee, long drives, late night phone calls, early morning excuses to leave home and what not. It felt as if we completed each other. Now after 7-8 years, when I look back and think about it, I still smile but there are things that I'm reminded about that I still haven't forgotten. He was the best thing that ever happened to me but at the same time, the worst too. It took years to understand that sometimes love can be manipulative, manipulative to the extent that it disables your basic sense, instincts and thought process as well. It's funny how he could manipulate me to cut off with all my friends gradually so as to assure that I had nobody to talk to or share with what I was going through.

In this society when you are ambitious, intelligent at the same time a woman as well, there are different kinds of struggles that you go through. My parents were supportive and encouraging like always, and so was he. But he had his own ways to drain me out. I couldn't speak to any guy, and if I did, even to ask for last class's assignment, I had to pay for it. Yes, now you must be thinking, how could he know about it. Well, I had to record my classes, interactions and send them on a daily basis and if he found anything that he couldn't accept, he used to hit me. Yes, the worst part about this rosy relationship was that he was abusive. He loved me, he did, that's what I believed. But years later I understood that love couldn't be so ugly. I remember hiding my bruises with full sleeves shirts and scarves, making excuses at home that I fell at the stairs while using the phone, this continued for years, even after brutal attacks. Once half of my face got paralyzed because of his violent behavior but I still didn't let go off this relationship and could never share this with anyone. Now when I think about it I understand that I had nobody to share this with. He was too smart.

Three years later, one fine day he just left me, blocked me from everywhere and that too for no reason. I went crazy, trying to contact him, asking his friends and what not. Finally my focus shifted from him to looking for the reason why this happened. Then finally things came to the surface. He was cheating over me since the very first month of the relationship. Some things were unacceptable, such as him being involved with prostitutes, and the fact that he borrowed thousands of rupees from me just for that. There were many more things, many more lies and many more betrayals . It all made me feel sick. It made me feel terrible.

It's strange, that after so many years I'm talking about it. But maybe it's because I saw a picture of that time and was reminded of those days when I used to crop my pictures to hide my bruises before uploading on Facebook. Life moved on. Now I am a stronger and better person. No, he never apologized and is very happy in my life with his new found girlfriend who apparently is his true love. I eventually built my life back and life changed. But I was just reminded of the time that still haunts me some times, doesn't let me sleep at night, doesn't let me trust anyone, doesn't let me dream too, but I won't say that I don't believe in love after what happened. Rather my belief became stronger, because I understood my own worth and the worth of love that I gave him and that I still have for myself and others. I just want to say that these things are just like bad episodes of the series of your life. Remember them as those episodes that gave the highest TRPs because you learnt the biggest lessons through them. Don't lose hope.

Medhavi