Being in love with an illusion...*

Being in love with an illusion...

I don't know how many people have gone through this feeling... Of being in love with an illusion.. of being sure of somebody being a person who he is not in real but pretends to be all the time and you fall in love with the very idea of that person. It's not that that the person is perfect... But even the imperfections are painted when they claim to be their bare self before you but in real have so many things they would never ever share. You end up making them a part of everything, sharing each bit of your life.. present past future plans dreams fears and what not.. basically being your bare self n letting all your vulnerable parts be shown in light. But here the difference is... That there's no pretence. It is all real.. but this person knows how to channelise these intimate strengths n weaknesses of yours. Life changes.. for better then the best.. then bad to the worse because they know how to lie to you.. how to cheat over you.. how to hide things from you.. how to hurt you... And you stand there.. helpless and homeless from your own heart coz in this whole process you lose yourself. You gave yourself to someone and they broke you into a million pieces.. not just your heart.. but you.. you as a person. When you see their real self, it's almost unbelievable and unbearable because you see how selfish and mean they are and have been. You feel terrible.. you feel used... You feel like scratching each moment from your past that reminds you of them.. the moments you had been rewinding all this while in your mind again n again to relive it all... It was all a lie. It was all a game... Illusion.. it's too tiring and damaging to be in love with an illusion.

Medhavi

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